And I still did everything wrong
Talking with my other half about my future and some of my past regrets I have about the decisions I made about my future at the time brought up some seriously resentful feelings I had lingering just above the surface. I want my children to know they have every and any opportunity to look into or decide on their own future. No questions asked no matter how crazy it might sound.
When I was a teenager I decided that people older than me might have my best interest at hand considering they’ve been around a lot longer than I did. What I didn’t take into consideration was my own feelings and how times were different than when my parents were young. I listened and did what I was told. Ultimately I made those decisions but for all the wrong reasons. I always liked being different and yet I didn’t fight those I cared about on what I wanted to do. A few things I wanted to try were welding, demolition, the armed services, machining (my father had his own company) and psychology. Every single thing got shot down by those closest to me. What did it matter to them what I did? So out into the world I went trying to do what other people thought I should be doing.....and I failed miserably. But I kept trying. If one thing didn’t work I went onto the next. And the next. And the next. Each time a little piece of me ached to be one of those people who had a passion. A person who knew their path and excitedly ran toward it. Even now I still want to be that person. I tried my hand at so many different things and the only thing that came out of it was making other people happy, even at the expense of my own happiness.
One of my biggest lessons through all my career changes was breaking up with the last toxic relationship I didn’t even realize I had. Unhealthy work environments. Just like as a teenager I put my head down and just rocked my job out, never demanding accolades or promotions until it was too later. Either I got passed over, I didn’t care or I quit.
Moral of my story? It’s okay to listen to other people and what their opinion might be on what you might do. But if you know deep down what you love to do or find weird and eccentric things fascinating, DO IT!!!! I failed at so much stuff I didn’t like that I wish I failed at stuff I did love. At least I would have had more fun. Now don’t get me wrong I was able to try some things like being an equestrian which was exciting and painful all together. I’ve learned so much every step of the way. That’s why I’m writing to you. Fail at fun stuff. Don’t try and be safe because NOTHING IS SAFE anymore.
When I was a teenager I decided that people older than me might have my best interest at hand considering they’ve been around a lot longer than I did. What I didn’t take into consideration was my own feelings and how times were different than when my parents were young. I listened and did what I was told. Ultimately I made those decisions but for all the wrong reasons. I always liked being different and yet I didn’t fight those I cared about on what I wanted to do. A few things I wanted to try were welding, demolition, the armed services, machining (my father had his own company) and psychology. Every single thing got shot down by those closest to me. What did it matter to them what I did? So out into the world I went trying to do what other people thought I should be doing.....and I failed miserably. But I kept trying. If one thing didn’t work I went onto the next. And the next. And the next. Each time a little piece of me ached to be one of those people who had a passion. A person who knew their path and excitedly ran toward it. Even now I still want to be that person. I tried my hand at so many different things and the only thing that came out of it was making other people happy, even at the expense of my own happiness.
One of my biggest lessons through all my career changes was breaking up with the last toxic relationship I didn’t even realize I had. Unhealthy work environments. Just like as a teenager I put my head down and just rocked my job out, never demanding accolades or promotions until it was too later. Either I got passed over, I didn’t care or I quit.
Moral of my story? It’s okay to listen to other people and what their opinion might be on what you might do. But if you know deep down what you love to do or find weird and eccentric things fascinating, DO IT!!!! I failed at so much stuff I didn’t like that I wish I failed at stuff I did love. At least I would have had more fun. Now don’t get me wrong I was able to try some things like being an equestrian which was exciting and painful all together. I’ve learned so much every step of the way. That’s why I’m writing to you. Fail at fun stuff. Don’t try and be safe because NOTHING IS SAFE anymore.
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